Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
They have beer where we have blood.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
