You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
