1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
