Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
