where am i from again
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
