Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Randomize
