that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Tornado booty call.. dedication
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
