so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
