I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
