maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
