apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
