Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
