Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She's the barista slut.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
