he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
and she was petting her beer can
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
