Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
