Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I can't turn off my feet"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
