That's intense
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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