i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
