Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
