wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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