You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
