Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
