It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
