I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
