I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
