the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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