i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
