the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
