My liver just broke up with me...
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
