That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
