I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
