we're blogging at a bar
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
