Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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