ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
