I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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