butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
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