but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
