shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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