remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
