I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
