Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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