he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
