while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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