Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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