You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
