Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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