I want to walk on stilts...naked
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
