we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
