Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
