The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
